We all have those days. Days when we feel unmotivated, down on ourselves, stuck in a rut, blue. It might not be a deep depression, but we just feel over it, no matter what “it” is. Even if you mostly love your life, there are just days when the bread is stale or the milk is off, the washing needs to be done, someone is a bit needy, or you just feel tired.
For most of us this might just last a day or two, and we bounce back. Sometimes you might need a day off, a change of scene or a chat with a friend. And if none of that works, and you don’t bounce back, I encourage you to reach out for help.
But in the midst of whatever existential crisis you might be having, you might want to spend a bit of time getting in touch with yourself, and understanding your true worth.
I was reminded of this when a client spoke of feeling unmotivated and guilty that she wasn’t doing more with her life. She felt that she was not doing enough, achieving enough, her goals were unclear, and it had always seemed that way. Her experience of herself was that she did not give herself what she needed and was not meeting others expectations.
Yet even though she felt she was not contributing much, she was still making a profound impact on the world around her. Little actions they might be, which had big results. In being true to herself, she was effortlessly giving and sharing her gifts with the world.
One of my client’s strengths is her generosity: acknowledging and appreciating her friends and family. She can authentically lift someone’s spirits by sending an email saying how they inspire her. She does not hold back from doing those little things, which can really make someone’s day.
On the day she felt she was not enough, she still sent this email. This was an effortless action for her, something that comes naturally and spontaneously for her. It is a true and special gift. And we all have them, even if we do not realise what we do for others.
These gifts might include expressing appreciation, being enthusiastic, showing love, sharing humour. It might be being optimistic or realistic, or being able to see many options. It might be being a good listener or a passionate talker. It might be being willing to commit to something or someone, to take a chance, or knowing when to walk away. It might be seeing the world from your unique point of view.
Whatever it might be, knowing and expressing that gift will only benefit yourself and others.
Many times we do not need to try so hard to impress others and meet expectations. Knowing your own value and gifts mean you can effortlessly contribute to the world around you. Doing what may be easy and natural for you, may be all the difference for someone else.
Holding back on doing these easy and effortless actions, keeps those gifts from being shared.
More importantly, not recognising that you have authentic natural gifts can keep you feeling less than perfect in the world. It keeps us striving to change into someone else, instead of discovering who we are.
I do believe that our culture values our doing so much more than our way of being, and we judge ourselves way too harshly. It is at the basis of the anxiety and “busy – ness” that saps our vitality and joy in life.
Finding and practicing one thing that comes easily for you might start to make a change in our lives.